Normal As It Gets

[lilithsaintcrow]

I made it through the weekend.

I had to get a new litterbox for the Remaining Cat, and get rid of the old ones. I got her the veritable Cadillac of litter receptacles, and you should have heard her yowling with delight. “YOU GUYS!” she would crow to the Absent Cats. “YOU GUYS, COME LOOK AT THIS! IT’S NEW AND SHINY AND SMELLS WEIRD!”

The fact that she received no answer perturbed her, so she went looking for Sweet Tuxedo and Cranky Duck Cat. She checked all their hiding spots, and I was hard-put not to dissolve in a wave of tears.

Oh, who am I kidding? I cried. She was always getting them and bringing them out to show them new stuff. I also cried when I found a lone hairball under my bed. *sigh*

The trouble was, this fancy-dancy litterbox had a door, and the silly Remaining Cat–oh, let’s call her Mad Tortie–has not grasped that you must go through the door to reach the Stuff What Catches The Sewage. (She’s very sweet, and very stoic, and very loving, but not high in the brains department.) I honestly didn’t think she’d have this much of a problem…

…until I woke up and found out she had used the bigger planters in the sunroom as her bidets, so to speak. So it was time to clean the sunroom, again, and I took the damn door off the Cadillac Litterbox. She jumped immediately in and started flinging litter with such abandon it almost hit Miss B in the nose–did I mention Miss B has a distressing fondness for Kitty Roca? Screw the cat kibble, she says. Give me the already-digested!

So I had to haul the Aussie away and put her on the other side of the glass door, her nose pressed against it like Little Orphan Annie’s. “YOU ARE DOING THINGS IN THERE WITHOUT MEEEEEEE,” she moaned, as I swept up litter and cursed under my breath. “THEY MUST BE FUUUUUN THIIIIIIINGS. WITHOUT MEEEEEEEEE.”

The sunroom is clean(ish), and Mad Tortie has stopped calling for the Absent Cats to come see the new doins, though she regularly checks all their hiding places in the house. Several of my plants are much the worse for wear. Miss B has been nervously checking around to see if the Absent Cats are perhaps hiding somewhere she can heeeeerd them out of, trotting behind Mad Tortie on her daily rounds. It would be hilarious if it didn’t break my heart to see them searching for Sweet Tuxedo and Cranky Duck.

Anyway, things are slowly returning to normal. Or as normal as it gets, around here. The sunroom’s looking mighty bare, and Mad Tortie spotted a feral rabbit out the window earlier today…

…but that’s another blog post.

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